{I made this post sticky for a couple of days because it is featured in Schmutzie’s Five Star Friday for May 7}

Oh bathtub you were lukewarm! Why?

I don’t really ask anything of you. I like you just the way you are: our relationship is just perfect. I see you once a week – maybe once every two or three weeks if I’m really busy. I just want a special bath once in a while: just me and my bathtub and that special time we share.

Bathing is something very intimate and special for me – I can tell it is for both of us, dear bathtub – but the thing is, I realize now that I’m developing feelings for you. I can’t handle the casualness of this relationship.

It’s not that I want anything to really change mind you. I don’t really want to bathe more often, or visit the factory where you were made, or delve into the history of who you cleaned before I came along.

It’s just that I’ve realized that, having gone this far, if I found out you were cleansing someone else, some stranger, I would be really hurt. Then where would we be? I have to live – and work – in this apartment with you!

I would want to scrub you with bleach to within an inch of your life before I could stand going near you again. Our relationship would never be the same, and we could never go back to that easy casual shower routine we had before the bathing thing came along.

I know, I know, I’m gone to Vancouver a lot, and I sometimes must stay in a hotel with another bathtub. Quite frankly, since you came along I don’t bathe in those other tubs – I only shower.

Even though I’m not ready for anything approaching real commitment – I must admit I really do want another bathtub all my own someday. I’ve been renting for a while now since selling my last condo, and I don’t want to remain a renter forever. When that day comes – I have no idea yet whether you will be The One I take out a mortgage with. Maybe I’ll want a deeper, longer tub, with jacuzzi jets. Who knows? Anything could happen, but we’ve shared some really nice hot baths up until now and I gotta admit you’re on my mind a lot.

Dear bathtub – it’s not like I want to pick out a new shower curtain with you or anything. I just want to know if maybe you are perhaps thinking the same thing: that our relationship is fine the way it is, and neither of use will go screwing up any future considerations by indiscriminately bathing elsewhere?

I would like to know if you consider me a candidate – in the future – down the road – as a possible One and Only bathing beauty.

If not, then maybe we could go back to our friendly day-to-day showers, before it’s too late and one of us (i.e. me) gets left in the cold.

Roman Bath photo by MarkHillary

Rubber Duckie photo by meg@n!!