You’d think installing a driver for a brand new printer for a brand new laptop would be easy for a geek girl like me.

But Friday afternoon, two weeks into my new job, raring to go, with 3 tasks left on my Top 5 for the day (including assembling, printing and mailing my expense forms), I still had not managed to get my new printer working after two hours of frustration.

Flummoxed. Laid flat. Humbled. Defeated.

I mourned the lost hours I could have spent writing the strategic communications plan, a job description for the co-op student I want to hire, or mapping out a schedule of internal and external blog posts.

I sent a pleading email to my new boss in Vancouver: “do we have any tech support at all?”

Answer: no, not really. We have software engineers and geeky techie people coming out the yin-yang at BCcampus – we’re all supposed to be highly computer literate. Maybe somebody in Victoria can help you, he said, and if you’re really stuck yes we can bring in someone to look at your system (and if you’ve figured out email for iPhone let me know, he added sheepishly.)

At first I was aghast: all the hours I’ve “wasted” when I could have been doing My Very Important Job – does it make sense to leave my computer workings to me alone? Why can’t I just call someone and have them deal with it?

Later that day I met up at the pub with some of my old colleagues from government. “How’s your new job going?” they asked.

“Great!” I said, “I’m writing the comms plan and there are so many cool, innovative things I get to put in place: linking the strategic plan within the very fabric of the internal and external web site, real-time measurement, interactive calendars, blogging functions, a stakeholder survey — all the stuff I couldn’t do when I was with government!”

Then it hit me: the reason I was so frustrated with my computer and printer issues. I had been domesticated.

For over four years (in contrast to my career before that – a blog post for another day) I was never my own systems administrator. My computer, blackberry, software, printer and LAN connections were provided to me within the strict confines of Policy. I couldn’t download the tools I like best: Skype, Evernote, Scrivener, Skitch, Tweetie, etc. At one point, for a brief time, even shortened URLs were blocked.

Don’t get me wrong: because of the people I worked with (including my incredible boss) I was able to do some of my best work while at government, and I was able to innovate, to a point. I implemented the very first Facebook group from the BC government three years ago; and in the process contributed in a concrete way to the discussion about whether to block – or use – social networking sites within the public service.

But still – I had been coddled and grain fed and confined to my cubicle and the Help Desk line for so long I forgot what it means to be self-reliant.

Now I’ve come fill circle. I’m back in a small organization with no Shared Services or Help Desk to come to my rescue. When I came on board I was asked what hardware and software I needed in order to do my job, and I eagerly took the iPhone, MacBook Pro and HP printer. I installed Office and got it working (after 2 tries); I configured my work email and calendar and sync’d to my iPhone.

I am NOT alone, not really. My new coworkers are ready to help – I need only ask. Besides, it’s early days and I’m still getting my feet under me in my new role. It’s OK for me to relax and get settled comfortably, to let the process happen and not feel like I have to Perform, Right now!

More importantly: I have a measure of autonomy I longed for but did not have in my previous job. I had forgotten – with freedom comes responsibility.

If having freedom to work creatively means being more self-sufficient, then I gladly embrace the trade-off.

Photo by Kodomut (licensed under Creative Commons)