I want to wish you a happy thanksgiving, and I also have a request. Admit it, I don’t do this very often, and I promise I won’t do it again for at least another year

I also can’t help but think of the bigger picture during holidays like this. Where are we going to go if or when we can’t run anymore? Or cook for ourselves, or dress ourselves, or go for a walk in the park?

Someplace like Mount St Mary’s hospital perhaps.

Maybe you and I will be felled by old age, a terrible accident or disease like cancer. Chances are it will be a process, not an event. Many of us will need long term care at some point.

That care does not come cheap. There are people at Mount St Mary’s now who need some extra help. The Cancer Society needs funds to search for a cure.

This year I vowed running was not going to be all about me. Now here it is, two days away from my next race – the Victoria Marathon (I’m running the half – 21.1 km) and I need to put my mouth where the money is. On this Thanksgiving weekend, please think about giving back to the community, and supporting my efforts to make my running about giving back and paying it forward.

My goals are modest:

Raise $200 for Mount St Mary’s hospital in Victoria. Make your donation online here.

Sell some YYJRuns 2012 calendars (in which I appear, running with wild abandon along a trail at the Royal Roads University grounds) to raise funds for cancer research. You can pre-order yours here.

Please visit one or both of those links today and give what you can. A $15 donation to Mount St Mary’s, and a $15 calendar. I’d be thrilled, but more importantly so many others will be able to live a better life. And for that, we can all be grateful.

Happy Thanksgiving, and much love to you and yours.

David and me at the start of the Grouse Grind

David is a Boston-qualified marathon runner (that means he’s fast) who came to Canada as a teenager with the thickest British accent you could imagine (think Coronation Street) and only decades later can we all understand him.

Ok I’m joking. A little.

He is just one of those guys who is interested in everyone, genuinely and without reservation.

We met at Frontrunners in downtown Victoria almost three years ago when I started running again. I believe that’s when David started running for the first time. Now we’re both run leaders and the running friendship has continued.

While David runs, his wife Marion is usually out on a boat. So if David misses a run on a weekend, it’s most likely because he is meeting her at some marina or other around Vancouver Island. I did finally get to meet her at my birthday celebration last February, it was nice to put a face to the name!

Even though he’s so much faster than I, when David invites me to go for a run with him (or hike up Grouse Mountain) he makes sure to stay at the back with me so I don’t feel bad lagging behind. It’s all about fun, fellowship and love of the sport; running is a social activity for David (and for me too). That’s the best kind of sport for me, where is nothing to prove. Unless it’s race day of course.

He always has a warm hug for all his friends. I’m not the most touchy-feely of people, but friends like David are turning me around on that score. It’s really nice to get an authentic embrace from a friend, especially when you live alone.

The greatest thing about being David’s friend is: I can tell him anything and he’ll always have some good advice for me. He’s my straight go-to guy for man-advice (Jim and Roger being my gay go-to guys on that score). I trust his instincts, and his insights have proven to be spot-on so far.

David’s running the Victoria Marathon this October – I’ll be sure to cheer him on along with the rest of the Frontrunners gang, after I finish the Half Marathon division.

Lesson learned: do not try to get back into running too soon after a marathon. My first post-marathon run was a slow, easy half hour (about 4 k) while I was on Salt Spring Island six days after the marathon. Chris “tsk tsk’d” as I went out the door of our hotel room.

“I’ll be fine, I’ll take it really easy,” I said.

Mount Doug summit!

Then a few days later, after we were back in Victoria, we went trail running at Mount Doug. I even got off course and we had to bushwhack a little bit to get up onto the trail again. It was fun, but my foot hurt after that.

A few days after that, we did the 10k loop around Elk Lake.

After Chris went back to Sackville, I really wanted to get onto the trails so I did Mount Finlayson – twice – and went for a 10k with the Frontrunners gang. I may have gone a bit fast …

All within a month of running a marathon.

I know some people can get back on a schedule like that within weeks. I am clearly not one of those people.

My big toe joint became inflamed again, I have an extremely tight sacroiliac joint, and a hip flexor that nags me every time I wake up. My physiotherapist told me to hold off on running for a while and just stick to biking to keep up my fitness.

Trail below Mt Finlayson

That was before the second Mount Finlayson run. I’m stubborn, aren’t I? After that run (which was really pretty, I love Goldstream Park!) I found I could not even sit for very long without my back hurting.

It’s a hard lesson to learn. It’s finally getting really gorgeous and sunny outside and I am stuck inside on the elliptical, the spin bikes, the yoga studio. How frustrating! Oh well, at least I have a balcony on which I can sit and relax with a G&T after my workout.

May 1, 2011: a perfect day for a marathon in Vancouver.

Weeks ago in the midst of training I sent my boyfriend Chris a message that said “No matter what happens on May 1, this will be my last marathon for a while.”

I did finish. That makes two finishes and one DNF. After last year’s DNF, I was relieved, happy and tearful Sunday when I crossed the finish line in 4 hours, 39 minutes and 27 seconds.

It was absolutely gorgeous weather. We had a clear view of the north shore mountains and it wasn’t too hot.

I started out with a 6:10 first kilometre but knew it was a little fast and tried to slow it down. The 4:30 pace bunnies caught up to me within 3 k. I fell into step with them. I met someone from New York City and someone from Utah. We chatted as we ran. For someone used to running with a group, it was nice. I felt strong, I felt good. I felt like my goal time of 4:30 was well within reach.

I was momentarily clock-blocked by a homeless guy crossing the street somewhere in the downtown east side. I was rounding a corner and he was blithely crossing the street as if nothing unusual was going on that day. I just laughed and carried on running.

I was grateful for my fuel belt in Stanley Park because they ran out of cups for the water stations. I just refilled my water bottle. The other people around me were gulping straight from the jugs, and picking up used cups. Tsk tsk race organizers! Stanley Park is often the place where something goes wonky during the race, because it’s so hard for the organizers to get in there and replenish supplies after the race has started.

Coming out of Stanley Park my pace was faltering a bit but I really wanted to stay with the 4:30 pace bunny. Just before the Burrard Street Bridge Chris was there with his camera, fresh water bottles, encouraging words and a kiss. But as I turned to resume running I couldn’t spot the pace bunny group. I never did catch up.

The bridge wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. Or rather – it was harder than I imagined? I couldn’t keep up my pace over the long elevation gain. I put on my music, but by the time I crossed I knew I was going to have a hard time achieving 4:30.

At 30k (the point that marked my longest training run) the hurt set in. Unlike my first marathon, there was no stabbing pain of muscles seizing up – it was just fatigue. I could feel my SI joint, my quads and calf muscles tightening. I felt like I was trying to run on wooden legs.

I had hit The Wall.

I took my last gel and kept going. A lot of the time I was grunting with effort. My pace dropped to about 7 minutes/kilometre and it seemed there was nothing I could do to step it up. I knew I had to run over the bridge again, but I knew it wasn’t as steep as I had imagined, so I would be OK.

I concentrated on my form and kept pushing, trying not to stop and walk. I imagined my legs being pulled up at each step, and that propelled me up to the bridge, which is at the 39 k mark. On my way down, I knew I was so close, that the pain would be over soon, that I was about to finish another marathon.

I started to cry.

That last 3k seemed really long, but suddenly there was the finish line and I heard my name being called. I cried even harder and tried to raise my arms in victory for the finish line camera. Sobbing, I walked through a line of volunteers handing out finisher medals and spotted a little girl.

“Can I have my finisher’s medal?” I asked. I think she was a bit scared because I was crying, but she handed it to me.

“Thanks sweetie!” I said, smiling as I put it around my own neck.

Then I went to find Chris, who was carrying the flask of Irish whiskey. It was the best finish ever.

I’m serious about the no more marathons pledge. The training takes up so much of my time and pretty much kills my social life. Plus, it’s HARD to run 42.2 k at a time. As in – painful, gruelling, grinding. It’s a long, long way to run.

Half marathons, on the other hand, are perfect. It only takes me about 2 hours to run 21.1 k – a nice morning’s run, and just hard enough to accomplish. The training is fun and it doesn’t kill my social life (which does include non-runners!). I still get a medal when I finish.

Last Sunday’s Vancouver Marathon was a great race to end this leg of my marathon journey.

Photo by Christopher Mackay

Last fall I was recovering from injury and entered my first race after regaining my running form: a popular local 8k. I had run the marathon at that same event the year before, so I had no idea the popularity of the 8k event. I was planning to run a conservative race and come in not much under 50 minutes. I just wanted to run healthy without any calf/IT-band/foot issues, so I’d know I was OK to start training again.

So – I seeded myself at what I thought was about 3/4 of the way back. Gun goes off – and we start running. Wow – these people are slow! I thought, but I tried to remain positive: at least they’re out here, giving it a good try, yada yada. I weaved in and out of a few strollers (GRRR! Please start at the back if you have a running stroller! I don’t care how fast you are) but was trying NOT to pass people because I wasn’t really out there to race, you know?

Until I met up with the walkers. You’re walking? Really? Four of you, all abreast hey? Chatting to each other. Uh huh. Then why were you not at the VERY BACK of the start line? Sheesh?!?!? There were a couple of patches of walkers to dodge in that first 2k.

I passed them but continued hold back my pace, trying just to be happy to be running again.

And there he was.

Another walker.

No — I mean an old guy with a WALKER. As in – a device that assists one in walking when one is in danger of falling over otherwise.

I KNOW RIGHT??????

There were just no words. None at all, after that.

I did finish in 50 minutes and kept on training. I’m completely healthy and next week I’m at the start line of my third marathon. I’m pretty sure assisted walking devices won’t be the list of clock blocking that will happen. I’m pretty sure I will probably clock-block someone during the race too.

My apologies in advance.

My first marathon was a triumphant 4:42:24 finish. My second attempt ended at the 15k mark with an injury to one of my upper calf muscles.

I’ve been ambivalent about running this marathon. Training is hard, it takes over your life. I haven’t been out in the evening in weeks. My friends are starting to wonder if there’s something wrong with me. Not only that, but I signed up to be a run leader for a spring marathon, not realizing my group would consist of exactly four people: me, two fellow run leaders, one of whom is not signed up for a race and who hasn’t completed a run more than 2 hours, another who injured her ankle hiking and had to drop out of marathon training, and our sole clinic participant who was in Hawaii for all of February and missed several crucial build-up runs.

But still, I slogged through my training, being sidelined by nagging injuries (that were caught early and treatable) only a couple of times. The whole time I’ve been plagued by doubt: do I really WANT to do this? Previously, the training was the most fun part of marathon training. Not so this time.

Of course, yes I do want to finish this marathon. I’ve worked so hard for this. I know the feeling of accomplishment after crossing that finish line and getting a medal is incomparable.

I think my problem is: I’m no longer a newbie. I know how hard it is. I’m under no illusions as to how much work it takes to cross the finish line after 42.2k. I’m under no illusions that race day might not be my day to have a good run. After last fall’s sudden, unexpected injury (it happened in the last week before the race) I know that any-freaking-thing can happen to derail my race plan.

I finished Saturday’s 3:30 run confident that I am ready to run Vancouver. Now taper starts. I’ve been doing everything I can to get into the right headspace to finish strong. I visualize the race each morning, including my triumphant finish. I listen to my marathon music mix, including Phoenix’s “Love Like a Sunset.” I imagine Chris (who’s flying in from New Brunswick the week before) waiting for me in the family area with his camera, a big hug and kiss to my sweaty, salty face.

I know that no matter what happens in the next 20 days, I will take whatever comes, knowing that life happens, the running gods sometimes have a sick sense of humour and I’ve done all I can to get me that medal.

If it’s true that the race is simply the victory lap after all the training, then I’m prepared to just enjoy the day.

• BMO Vancouver Marathon

I’ve signed up to be a volunteer pace group leader at a Frontrunners marathon running clinic, starting January 12 and leading up to the 40th BMO Vancouver Marathon May 1, 2011.

I already know from leading indoor spin-type classes at the YMCA that it’s not about me so much as the participants. Certainly it’s a good way to keep on track with my own fitness and to get in the training to complete the race, but at a certain point a fitness leader has to put aside her own goals and tune in to the needs of the group members.

• You have to show up even when you don’t feel like going that day.
• You have to know where the heck your run route is, because you’re out in front.
• You’re out there for 2, 2.5, 3, 3.5 hours, you better make that route interesting, preferably a loop that is do-able in the time frame allowed.
• You have to adjust on the fly, make sure everyone gets back to the start line, sweep the stragglers if someone’s having a bad day, and be prepared for anything.

As our clinic leader put it this morning, if you’re hell bent on getting a Personal Best this time, don’t be a run leader, be a participant. Runners will sense a pressure to perform, and that leads to overdoing it, overtraining, overuse — injury — and failure to cross the finish line. Maybe not for you, but for them. And the whole idea of these clinics is to get people to the finish line injury-free.

The good news is – helping people achieve their fitness goals is a passion of mine, it keeps me going. It’s why I volunteer at the Y. It’s why I join clinics – because a shared victory is sweeter than a personal one.

Besides, I live to run and I don’t like to run alone all the time.

So if you’re making a resolution to run a marathon in 2011 — sign up for the race, sign up for the clinic. We’ll get you there!

As you know I run for my health and fitness (although running marathons goes way beyond just keeping healthy, but that’s a topic for another day), but I don’t want it to be all about me. One of my run leaders, Mandy, works at the Mount St. Mary’s foundation and she is passionate about her work and about Mount St. Mary’s.

I know your donation will stay right here in Victoria providing long term care for those who need it most. It will also help me take my running outside myself and into helping my community – that way we all benefit!

Please take a moment right now to pledge me online, then come out and cheer on the Marythoners!

Knowing all that, how do I handle it in the meantime? A Google search for steps to recover from running heartbreak turned up nothing, but there was a LOT of advice on relationship heartbreak. Now here’s something I know a little somethin’ somethin’ about!

I turned to my favourite relationship/sex advice duo: Em and Lo. They wrote the book on heartbreak and have a 10-step plan for getting over a breakup.

I’ve stolen translated their advice in abbreviated form here and adapted it for running, and I am following it to a T:

1. Numb the pain…for approximately seven days (two weeks max, in extreme circumstances). Everyone needs time to hit the wall, overeat, drink themselves silly, and generally self-medicate. Rent Shirley Valentine Spirit of the Marathon with a good friend. Get drunk on box wine. Go to a Saskatchewan Roughriders football game with your son. Lean on your friends, especially those who insist on referring to your ex as F**face running habit as crazy. Make a breakup playlist new workout playlist. Don’t feel guilty about crying yourself to sleep at the side of the road as other runners fly by. Briefly consider sexual reorientation taking up lawn bowling. Get drunk again.

2. Cut the cord. As tempting as it may be to call your ex go straight to the finish line looking for closure, hoping to be friends (i.e. “frexes”) watch everyone else cross the finish line, pretending that medal is really yours, this is not the time to concern yourself with F**face obsessing on why you got injured mere days before the race. Just go home and put that ice pack on your knee.

3. Think negatively about your ex (the race), especially if it helps you manage step 2. Avoid looking back on your relationship training with rose-colored hindsight or beating yourself up about what you did wrong. (Yeah – that course was way too flat anyway. I need more hills …)

4. Git ‘er done. After you’ve broken down, it’s time to rebuild yourself. You have it in you: start that political blog, dust off your bicycle, take that fiction writing class get thee to your physiotherapist and DO THOSE STRETCHES THEY GIVE YOU DAMMIT— after all, you’re more than someone’s other half just another injured runner.

5. Give back to the community. Nothing like volunteering at the local orphanage a marathon in your community, or raising money for a good cause to put your heartache in perspective.

6. Give yourself a “breakover.” If revenge is on your mind — and we know it is — get back at your ex injury by getting in the best shape of your life, getting the best haircut of your life, getting the laser hair removal you’ve always wanted …. (or at least a pedicure!)

7. Mark the occasion of moving on. Have a breakup DNF party with all your friends. Burn his effigy your race bib.

8. Go shopping! It may sound a little Tri-Delt, but retail therapy can work by temporarily filling up that void inside you just long enough to get you through the next day.  (W00t!: I’m getting new trail running shoes!)

9. Go on the rebound. Take up cycling, swimming and pool running for a while. We know you’re not here yet, but don’t underestimate the benefits of distracting yourself with the joys of being single cross-training so that you won’t be tempted to indulge in any late-night Googling “I’ll-just-try-an-easy-one” runs or other spying on your ex 5K races.

10. Think positively. This is not the death of sex and love running long distance. This is the beginning. Say it again: This is the beginning! Now sing it: “I will survive!” Because you will survive. And you will metabolize race again. Remember, dating injury is your chance to find better sex and truer love cross-training activities and re-learn your love for running. Take comfort in the fact that, with every passing day, as the pain subsides, you’re that much closer to your destiny (BOSTON!).

I had been for a run last Monday when I developed a tight calf muscle. I wrote about it earlier. I was hoping for the best but knew I might not be able to cross the finish line yesterday.

I was fine until 14.5 k. The pain was a dull roar, a tightness, and I was about 10 sec/km off my pace, which was OK by me. After 50 minutes on the course I was just getting warmed up and starting to enjoy the run. I had re-adjusted my goal and I just wanted to finish in 5 hours or less.

Then, on Assiniboine Avenue right next to the cemetery and across from an Apostolic church, I felt a sharp pain that drew me up into a limp and slowed my pace by about 30 sec/km. Another 500 m and I knew, with 25k to go, I wouldn’t even finish within 5 hours and this could only turn into a miserable death march.

It was really heartbreaking – I have never, ever DNF’d before and it feels like crap. But I made the right decision- I had to stop running or risk a really crippling injury. There’s “fatigue” pain you can run through and then there’s sharp, localized pain that is bad news. Smart runners know the difference. I want to be a healthy runner and I want to run the 8k in Victoria in a month’s time.

So how do you get over a DNF heartbreak? I dunno – you tell me.

I’m still in Saskatchewan for a few days – the bright light of my day is when I visit with my friends, my son, my daughter and her baby. Otherwise I’m still glum, missing my finisher’s medal, feeling incredibly fit and raring to go; except for that damn “popper” muscle in my left leg.

Part II of this series is the post where I get over my DNF heartbreak, then report back on my findings. I’m open to ideas – can any runner out there who has bounced back from a DNF please tell me how you did it?

PS: race course volunteers are saints. Especially Patty and her daughter Becky, who gave me water, a place to sit and cry for a while, and a ride to the 25k mark where my son and his dad were waiting for me with extra water, motivational signs written in Greek (um – my son is a Classics major…) and a flask of Irish whiskey.